THE HISTORY AND PHILOSOPHY OF THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness: spirituality and psychology

People have practiced and taught forgiveness for a long time -- but until recently, only in a religious and philosophical context . In fact, forgiveness is a key value in countless cultures and religions around the world.

In the Judeo-Christian tradition, forgiveness is a central theme. For Buddhists, forgiveness is the path of compassion and loving-kindness. And forgiveness plays an important role in Islam.

There is an ancient Chinese proverb that says: " The one who pursues revenge should dig two graves.”

Earlier in the last century, Gandhi told us “If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.”

Psychologists didn’t study forgiveness until recently. They assumed that it was motivated only by faith.

It wasn’t until the 1980’s that the number of papers and books on the subject began to appear. These were purely anecdotal; there were many examples of forgiveness, but no conceptual model -- and no instructions on how to do it.

Until the early 1990’s , the concept of forgiveness was essentially overlooked by psychologists. Actual research didn’t begin until the mid-90’s.

In 1996 Dr. Robert Enright from the University of Wisconsin put forgiveness on the map. He is the founder of the International Forgiveness Institute. And he is considered the father of forgiveness studies. Dr. Enright developed the 20-Step Process Model of Forgiveness.

Psychologist and author Everett Worthington is also one of the leading lecturers on the subject. A number of years ago, a teenage robber killed Dr. Worthington’s mother in her home. Worthington developed the Pyramid Model of Forgiveness to help him forgive his mother’s killer.

Another model came from Dr. Fred Luskin. His nine-step process to forgiveness can be found on his website www. forgiveforgood.com.

In 1997, I developed a model of forgiveness for participants at the Cancer Wellness Center in suburban Chicago.

The introductory workshop on forgiveness included:

• An understanding of the benefits and challenges of forgiveness.
• A thorough understanding of the meaning of intrapersonal forgiveness.
• A review of the new research about how brain physiology can affect the capacity to forgive.
• An examination of the mental attitudes necessary for the forgiveness process.
• An introduction to the Five Steps to Release the Past.

Forgiveness and compassion

Workshop participants also had the opportunity to experience a more integral forgiveness process within an ongoing support group. This approach to forgiveness and peace of mind is based on the belief that forgiveness arises naturally when we live in the present moment with an open, compassionate heart. The group format helps participants learn to practice forgiveness in a weekly structured format, which provides refinement and reinforcement for their efforts.

Learning to live in the present moment involves releasing not only our attachment not only to past events and beliefs, but also to an imagined future. This is an ongoing process.

Learning to develop empathy and compassion through opening the heart is also an ongoing process. And change is never easy. Maya Angelou wrote:

“I have forgiven myself; I'll make a change. Once that forgiveness has taken place, you can console yourself with the knowledge that a diamond is the result of extreme pressure. Less pressure is crystal, less than that is coal, less than that is fossilized leaves or plain dirt. Pressure can change you into something quite precious, quite wonderful, quite beautiful and extremely hard.”

Whether you are forgiving yourself or someone else, change is possible.

This website will introduce you to the concept of intrapersonal forgiveness. It takes you through the Five Steps to Release the Past. It also offers resources to help and support those who have committed to the daily, ongoing process of forgiveness because they know that forgiveness can change their lives -- for the better.

“What could you want forgiveness cannot give? Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep, abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset?
All this forgiveness offers you, and more.” - A Course in Miracles