EMPATHY AND COMPASSION EXERCISE

CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION THOUGH EMPATHY AND COMPASSION

Empathy involves seeing things from another person’s point of view, feeling the person’s feelings and identifying with the pressures that made the person hurt you or made you hurt another.

Learn to change your perception of the offender through developing empathy and compassion. If you can see that the offender didn’t intend to hurt you personally – but was acting out of his/her own pain and fear -- then forgiveness becomes easier. Try to understand the offender in the context of the whole of his or her life.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said it best:
“If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in
each person’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” 

Forgiving Others

• Is there anything in the other person’s background that could explain the offensive behavior?  

• What was his/her life like growing up?

• Write down what you think may have been happening at the time of the offense.

• What was the offender’s self-image at the time?

• How would your offender explain the harmful acts?

• Try to figure out what the motivation might have been.

Self-Forgiveness  

If you’re forgiving yourself, learn self-compassion. Remember that when we behave badly, it is because of deep feelings of pain. We are forgiving ourselves for doing wrong—not being wrong.

If you’re forgiving yourself, use your journal to record your development of self-compassion.

We learn self-compassion by remembering that when we behave badly, it is because of deep feelings of pain.

Remember, we forgive ourselves for doing wrong—not being wrong. If you are forgiving yourself, write down your responses to these questions:

• Was the offense an accident?

• Were you negligent or did you offend on purpose?

• Is there anything in your background that would explain your hurtful, inconsiderate or otherwise poor behavior?

• What feelings and pressures made you behave badly?

Continue to work in your journey and keep a written record of your progress in cultivating compassionate thoughts and behavior.