The power of forgiveness

As a psychotherapist specializing in health psychology for over twenty years, I’ve come to understand that in order to live fully and joyfully in the present, it is absolutely necessary to release the pain that we all carry with us from the past.

Without the power of forgiveness to help us heal, the past has the potential to destroy our present lives. Giving up the pain of the past is not easy -- but it is one of the keys to a healthy life.

I have yet to meet the person who hasn’t experienced some kind of hurt or painful trauma during his or her lifetime. In fact, a few even perceive hurtful experiences every day.

Why forgive?

But why do we want to forgive?

We forgive because we don’t like the way we feel.

We forgive because we are concerned about our long term health and well-being.

We forgive because we know that in order to grow spiritually, we must change.

When you release the past you reclaim your power.

What power?

The power to live. We all have limited life-energy. When our life-energy is directed to the past, we have less energy to live in the present.

When we release the past, we have more power to heal, to self-actualize, to become whole – to live a full and satisfying life .

What happens to our minds and bodies if we do not forgive?

Current research shows that chronic negative emotions can trigger an avalanche of stress hormones that can accelerate heart rate, reduce the effectiveness of the immune system, and increase our chances of developing serious illnesses.

According to Dr. Norm Shealy (in his book Sacred Healing),

“overall the most important single attitude for healing is forgiveness. Carrying a grudge is like taking poison yourself and expecting it to kill your worst enemy.”

Scientists tell us that emotions such as anger, guilt, sadness and resentment, if chronic, can damage our bodies and our mind.

When negative emotions become chronic, they can be toxic. They can not only affect our physical and mental health…they can also interfere with our relationships at work and at home…and our overall sense of well-being.

You can learn to forgive.

Anyone can learn to release the painful feelings and thoughts that sabotage psychospiritual and physical well-being and quality of life.

I’ve been investigating the topic within the fields of psychology and spirituality for over two decades. And for many years I’ve taught a Humanistic Model of Intrapersonal Forgiveness at the Cancer Wellness Center (in suburban Chicago), in my private practice, and within corporate settings.

Twenty years ago, I began my interest in forgiveness to achieve peace of mind. Only later did I learn the powerful healing effects of forgiveness on the body.

In both my research and my practice, I’ve seen that forgiveness can enhance self-esteem and improve relationships.

Forgiving can free up energy for healing and living.

And in-depth forgiveness can help us face the daily challenges of life, and even the end of life, free of regrets and with peace of mind.

Since 1997 I’ve conducted numerous forgiveness workshops for individuals from all walks of life.

Some came to learn self-forgiveness. Others worked to forgive loved ones, co-workers, caregivers, deceased family members and even God.

Their grievances ran the full gamut – betrayal, marital infidelity, incest, verbal and emotional abuse, and the existential feelings of regret that come with catastrophic illness and end of life.

Forgiveness is a brave choice.

I’ve watched as clients moved from hurt and anger to compassion and peace. I watched them work through guilt and regret and develop pride and self-acceptance. I’ve watched numerous individuals with the self-image of Victim become spiritual warriors and Victors as they continued to work with the process of forgiveness.

This website is my gift to all of the brave souls who allowed me to be a companion on their healing journey.

This web-site is my invitation to those brave souls. Join me in your own healing quest to improve both your health and your quality of life!